I'm going to step away from politics and religion for a moment to blog about something much more important - condiments. I don't typically eat at McDonald's; it's probably been months if not years since I had one of their burgers, but we were going to have a later dinner tonight so I thought I would drop by to get a burger and fries to hold us over.
I ordered a double cheeseburger. When I got home I opened it up to see what they had put on it and found pickles, ketchup, and mustard. Before I could eat it, I had to take off the pickles, remove as much of the ketchup and mustard as I could scrape off, and replace it with mayonnaise. I would have added some chopped onion but I didn't have any. So let's take a look at these condiments one at a time:
Ketchup - There are only two proper uses for ketchup and being on my hamburger isn't one of them. Ketchup may be used on fried potatoes, such as french fries, Tater Tots, or hash browns. It is also fine to use ketchup on meatloaf as long as you pour it on before cooking. That's it! Ketchup belongs on nothing else!
Mustard - This is a fine condiment, but again, not on my hamburger. Use it on hot dogs or bologna sandwiches all you want, but keep it off the burgers.
Pickles - These sour little disks should not be put on anything. Keep them completely away from my burgers and sandwiches. If you must have a pickle, eat one of the pickle wedges that are sometimes placed on your plate next to a sandwich.
Onions - I like mine chopped, not sliced. But sliced will do if that's how they come. I also like mine cut from the center of the onion, not from around the edge. Raw onions are much better than grilled onions, but as long as the grilled onions are chopped they're not too bad.
Mayonnaise - Truly the king of all condiments is mayonnaise. It's good with almost anything, especially on burgers. It can also be used as a dipping sauce for french fries. It is particularly yummy when mixed with equal parts ketchup (for dipping, not for placing on burgers).
Lettuce - I didn't mention lettuce before because my burger didn't come with it. And that's good because I would have had to remove it. If I want lettuce I will have a salad. And then I will only eat the bits of it that stick to the good parts of the salad, like the cheese, onions, meat, eggs, olives, or mushrooms. No sandwich should ever be defiled by lettuce, not even a BLT.
So there you have it - my rules for condiments. There may be some people who disagree with me. And that's fine; people are entitled to their own opinions, even if they're wrong!